


House of Hearts

by Katitty



Series: Push and Pull [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: I guess it's a little ooc but I don't think it is., It's a little all over the place, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus doesn't want to fall in love., So I won't tag it as such.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 04:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katitty/pseuds/Katitty
Summary: He pretends he can’t feel the imaginary Nephilim in his heart, banging nails into wood in an attempt to repair the walls. He pretends this isn’t what it is because Alexander is special to him, but he’s not that special. He never will be.Nobody ever will be again.





	House of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malec Trash Squad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Malec+Trash+Squad).



> Sophie really is the queen of hyping me up. 
> 
> This hasn't been beta'd yet, so point out any mistakes. It's honestly appreciated.

Magnus Bane's heart was once a home. With strong walls and an open door, enough space for the world and then some. 

 

It had been a burned down shell for a while after Camille. He rebuilt it, of course, but still. The windows were broken and the front door busted in from too many robberies done by people who only wanted his body in the long run.

 

He holds the memory of Alexander Gideon Lightwood walking through it like it was where he belonged. 

 

Opening the door carefully, with a key Magnus was sure he’d hidden in the bottom of the ocean a lifetime ago, with a warm smile and blush the colour of roses. Leaving his shoes and his bow at the door and making himself nice and comfortable among the everlasting rubble. 

 

He’s too shocked to fight it.

 

~~~

 

There’s jam in his fridge. 

 

It stumps him for a moment because he most definitely didn’t buy it, before he remembers the snoring Shadowhunter hidden away in his bed. 

 

He pretends he can’t feel the imaginary Nephilim in his heart, banging nails into wood in an attempt to repair the walls. He pretends this isn’t what it is because Alexander is special to him, but he’s not  _ that  _ special. He never will be. 

 

Nobody ever will be again.

 

~~~

 

Some nights are too hot. 

 

With Alec nestled up next to him, his head against his chest while Magnus rambles on with another story that’s more truth than bullshit. 

 

It leaves Magnus a little raw. Too vulnerable. 

 

He can’t seem to find it in him to hold this man at arms length. He  _ wants  _ the too hot body-against-body in the summer air. The jam in the fridge and the dirty shoes by the door.

 

He wants to come home to a smile and the smell of grease and sulfur in his hallway and the sound of the shower in the ensuite.

 

He wants to hide and pretend he doesn’t care but he spent too long fighting for this man's happiness to walk away at the first real sight of the L word.

 

He tells him bedtime stories and lays awake until the early sun rays shine through the room, knowing very well he will be complaining in the next hour about the heavy-footed Shadowhunter stomping his feet too early in the day. 

 

But he’ll smile when he hears a whispered apology and he slips out of thei-  _ his  _ room. 

 

And he’ll worry until late into the evening.

 

Until Alec comes home.

 

~~~

 

They were on a balcony when Magnus fell in L-O-V-E.

 

Magnus remembers the three lots of garlic bread he’d consumed in the time it had taken Alexander to eat five slices of pizza. 

 

He remembers the cocktails and the greasy kisses and the declaration that they absolutely needed a picture in that very moment. Remembers feel just a little past tipsy, but not enough for it to be obvious, and Alec smiling indulgently as he’d shoved their faces together and squeezed his thigh in encouragement. 

 

Remembers the giggling and the faces they’d pulled, garlic bread he’d been unable to resist shoving into his mouth, and the feeling of a lover smiling against his cheek and they laughed drank and gave into the feeling of being young and in something.

 

Magnus remembers every single moment. And his heart skips a few too many beats at the sight of one of the pictures they’d taken glaring up at him on the island bench, where Alexander’s phone had lit up with a notification.

 

~~~

 

There’s something different when he wakes up, on a rainy Tuesday sometime in the middle of September. 

 

Something is off but not in a bad way.

 

New but old in a different way. 

 

Happy and light in an almost painful way. 

 

Alec has left already, there’s a note on his bedside that promises pancakes for dinner and a present when he returns, but Magnus doesn’t dwell on it. 

 

There’s something different and he’s almost too scared to figure it out. 

 

~~~

 

There’s new jam in his fridge. 

 

A thigh holster on his coffee table and more clothes in his drawers than strictly necessary for someone who wasn’t supposed to get this close.

 

Something knocks in his heart. 

 

~~~

 

There’s a new door now. His little heart Nephilim replaced the old one. 

 

The windows aren’t shattered and there’s a new roof to stop the rain leaking in. 

 

Magnus sits and watches the life of New York bustle by while he waits for his real Nephilim to return. 

 

He misses him. 

 

He tells him every day. Of course he does. Because Magnus Bane has no impulse control when it comes to the people he cares about. 

 

He tests the new door. Opens it and slams it but remains sceptical on how well it will hold up when Camille comes knocking again in the next life time he endures. 

 

He’ll believe in its strength when he sees it. 

 

~~~

 

He’s had a long day, they both have, so falling into the arms of a Shadowhunter that looks strong enough to carry the world on his pinky is everything Magnus could have hoped for. 

 

Magnus tells him how much he’s missed him because he has, and Alec smiles his dorky smile and kisses him gently like he’s the most breakable thing in the world.

 

There’s pancakes from the all-night diner down the street and a present wrapped in brown paper and it’s all Magnus can do to not shout his love into the void so all universes know it’s there. 

 

They eat with plastic take-away forks and Alec’s face screws up at the taste of the syrup Magnus drenches his in. 

 

Magnus feels the door in his heart lock the tiny Nephilim inside at the sight of his boyfriend wandering into the kitchen to retrieve his beloved jam. 

 

~~~

 

There’s a photo frame in the brown paper bag. With a picture of them inside it.

 

There’s a happiness trapped inside the glass that Magnus wants to drown in. A moment in time that held so much laughter and fun. Magnus wishes he could return.

 

Wishes they could return. 

 

But Alec asks him softly if he likes it. Nudges his knee with his elbow and hunches is back a little.

 

It reminds Magnus why he fought so hard for Alec. Why he barged into his wedding, pleaded with him to hold onto his own life and not give it away for the honour of his family.

 

Magnus never wanted Alec to be sad. 

 

Of course, Magnus replies. Of course he loves it. He loves everything Alec does.

 

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I love you I hope you have a great day! Don't forget to love yourself and your body and your mind. Every single piece of you is worth the space it takes up and I am so happy that you're here, reading my crappy story and hopefully enjoying it!


End file.
